


Someone New

by Lia_Lia



Series: A New Home [2]
Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: M/M, Mild Angst, PTSD
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-02-18
Updated: 2019-02-18
Packaged: 2019-10-31 00:11:08
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 19
Words: 14,081
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17838671
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Lia_Lia/pseuds/Lia_Lia
Summary: Neville left Hogwarts, moving in with Pansy and her fellow Slytherin





	1. Chapter 1

It was the 30th of October 1998 and Harry stand alone in front of a narrow one-storey house. The lights were on on the ground floor, and as he stood there, he recognised the flickering of a nox darkening a room on the first floor. Definitely, wizards were living here, and considering he had checked the address twice, those wizards were Neville and Pansy. Still, he couldn’t knock at the navy blue door.   
As Theodorre Nott opened it, he found himself nose to nose with the blond boy he had barely ever talked to.  
“Hi.” Harry blurted, caught short.  
“Potter. Come in, they’re waiting for you.  
-Er, thanks.” He said. Visiting his friend shouldn’t make him a trainwreck, but he was. He has spent the last fifteen minutes with his hand hovering against the wooden door, wondering why, and why not. He got the idea, Neville and Pansy were living happily in a muggle suburb; he was practically used to it by now. But finding himself in front of their house made everything slowly scattered down to pieces.  
“Enjoy yourself.” Nott added, stepping outside, slowly closing the door behind him.

The navy blue door seemed to have led him to an alternate universe. The staircase in front of him was covered in fake spider webs and a plastic skeleton sat in the second step. At the end of the corridor, whose walls were covered with framed pictures, he could see a glowing sign This way to the Ministry of Magic hanging above a white door. But there was no doubt he really was in Neville’s house as he heard his laughter coming from the only other door of the room.  
“Harry, you’re here!” His friend welcomed him warmly. “I’m glad you came.  
-I said I will.” He smiled back as Neville hugged him. “What is that all about?” Harry asked, waving toward the skeleton and spiders.  
“Halloween’s decoration. It’s muggle.” He added, shrugging joyfully. “I don’t totally get it but it has something to do with evil spirits or something. I’ll find something about it at the library tomorrow and I’ll owl you if you want. Now come in, you gotta meet Pansy.”

The living room was barely separated from the kitchen and dining room by a wall of climbing plants. On the bookshelves in front of him were dozen of magical plants he knew from his dorm at Hogwarts. Their universe suddenly seemed less more distant and far more welcoming.  
On the other side of the vine, he could see Pansy disposing plates on the table, arranging the cutlery. She seemed nervous, too.   
“Hi, Harry.” She greeted, crossing the vine. “I’m glad to see you.”

Even if they’ve crossed path during Malfoy’s trial, it seemed to Harry that he hadn’t see the girl in ages. She had cut her long brown hair to her shoulder and dyed them shades lighter; and even though her lips were still as red as before, he had never see her smile that kindly.  
“Nice to see you, too.” He said, strangely honest. Maybe it was the look in her eyes, the way she absentmindedly touched her prominent belly or glanced toward Neville when she did so, but his stomach settled down. Pansy had passed the test.


	2. Chapter 2

“Maybe I can show you the place?” Neville proposed. Harry had finally left his cloak and shoes and fell his cheeks burned a little when he realised he was wearing mismatching socks with a hole in one. “and I can maybe offer you some slippers?” he casually added before Pansy try a joke on Dobby’s old present.

Wearing a pair of white slippers with rabbit ears on the front, Harry climbed the stairs to the first floor, looking at the pictures framed on the walls. A few of them were family pictures, mostly of Neville’s side and one was of Blaise and his mother. The others showed friends laughing or smiling at different ages. He surprisingly found himself on two of them: one with Ron, Hermione and Neville in first or second year and one more recent from one of their night out during the Triwizard Tournament. Seamus was laughing so much in this one he was literally bent in two.  
“I hope you don’t mind.  
-No no, it’s okay. I really like this one.  
-It’s lame I can’t recall the joke Luna made that day. So, here’s Draco old bedroom.” He said as they reach the top of the stairs, cautiously opening the door in front of them. “He wasn’t there when they got the house so he got the smallest but as he never slept in it anyway he decided it would be best for the nursery. It’s not done yet.” He informed after they stepped inside the room.  
Two walls were painted with a light shade of green as the other two were slightly grey with white animal shapes. An old wooden cradle with the matching changing table and wardrobe filled the room. Their colour has slowly faded away with time, and it made no doubt that they were older than them. “They need a little bit of woodwork and a stroke of fresh paint.” He listed as Harry’s hand trailed on the tiny bed. “And we’ve got that old mobile too.” he said, holding it out of under some covers.  
“Were they yours? Or Pansy’s?” Harry asked, rapt with wonder. The room was amazing. The baby wasn’t even there, but he could feel her presence in the air.   
“I told you nanny wouldn’t help us ‘til the baby’s here, and Pansy’s parents… they aren’t really happy with the new so… they kind of disown her you know? It all comes from Narcissa.  
-Narcissa?  
-Narcissa Malfoy. Draco’s mother. They were in Malfoy family for generations so it really means a lot to her. She’s kinda like a second mom to her, more now than ever.  
-Oh.  
-They aren’t cursed, you know. It’s just old baby furniture.  
-It’s really pretty.   
-Thank you. Ready for the rest of the tour?” he asked as they hear the oven bell. “There you got my room.” He said, opening the first of the three doors on the side. “Pansy had transfigurate an old mattress in a bed when she moved in but it wasn’t really comfortable so I took my old bedroom stuff.” As he had imagined, Neville bedroom was as untidy as his dorm at Hogwarts but there was no doubt that Pansy has spent hours making it look as cosy as humanly possible, while dealing with the garish colour of the Gryffindor house.   
“You still have you remembrall.” He joyfully point out as he saw the crystal ball on the drawer.   
“I’ll need it more than ever!” Neville laughed, heading toward the corridor. “Here you have Blaise and Draco’s room, and the next door is Theo. And here the bathroom. One for five is clearly not enough as they all spent too much time in it.  
-I thought you’ll live with Pansy alone.  
-Not yet but that’s the plan. We’re staying here ‘til we can afford a place on our own.  
-So you’re all living together?  
-Yep. It’s going greatly, don’t worry.” He assured, going downstairs. “I’ve spend most of the summer here. It’s been really weird in the beginning but not as tense as I’ve anticipated. Maybe you’ll see them tonight.”


	3. Chapter 3

Harry didn’t really know why he had accepted Neville’s offer. Two hours ago, it had seemed like a good idea; spending the night here would give them a little bit more time and they could work together on the nursery. Lying in Theodore Nott’s bed, he still looked forward to it: helping his friend with the restauration of the baby cradle meant a lot to him.  
The dinner has been pleasant. Pansy has been nervous during the first thirty minutes but they had finally made her laugh and feel at ease again. She was smart, teasing and often snarky but also soft and watchful and somehow, between cheeses and dessert, she found a way to dismiss her boyfriend and apologize to Harry. Even when he told her they were okay, she had at heart to apologize and explain herself again, assuring him she wasn’t the mean girl he thinks she was, that she had grown up and out of the pretentious and shallow girl she pretended to be. She didn’t dwell on the war or the previous years but made it clear that she never shared any of Voldemort view and couldn’t care less about blood purity or lineage, and that pureblood or not, she would still be in love with Neville Frank Longbottom. So seeing Pansy in the morning wasn’t what kept him awake and slightly nauseous. It was more the fact that he was a wall away from a sleeping Draco Malfoy.   
He had only saw him for a couple of minutes, barely enough to see him. He had stayed in the entrance, talking to them through the open door as he took off the pastel blue hood of his muggle cloak, revealing pink cheeks from his bike ride home. Harry had had barely enough time to realise who he was looking at that Draco had already offered him Theo’s room, arguing that as Blaise wasn’t coming home until dawn, he was going to share his room with Nott anyway. Then he had disappeared upstairs. The only proof of his being was the coat hanging in the hatstand and the shoes neatly waiting against the wall.   
Strangely, the rest of the evening had appeared longer, and now that he waited for sleep, minutes felt like hours. Giving up on sleep and ready for another restless night, Harry lighted up the bedside lamp and started reading the charm textbook left on the bedpost.  
It was way past two in the morning when he heard quiet knocks at his door.  
“Come in.” he invited, ready to find Neville overthinking his coming fatherhood.  
“I saw light under the door.” Draco calmly stated, as if it was absolutely mundane to be facing his old school rival in the middle of the night.   
In the feeble light of the room, he looked almost unreal. His white blond hair were held back behind his ears as they now fall freely just above his shoulders, curling a little bit. His silver eyes were fixed on him as he, too, was unbashfully detailing him.  
Somehow, Harry wondered if he had ever really seen the other boy, or if they were both looking at each other for the first time.  
“I wanted to thank you.” Draco finally said, looking him in the eyes. “For everything you did for me. Saving my life, pleading in my favour during the trial.” He shrugged, unknowingly uncovering a little more skin as his loosed shirt slid upon his shoulder. “Offering me a hand I’ve never deserved.  
-It’s  
-Just listen, Potter. Please.” He added, more gently. “What you did for me… You didn’t have to, and I’ll always be thankful, but what you did for Mother, what you said during her trial, I will never forget. Without you she’d be serving a life sentence in Azkaban. Without you…” he trailed off, suddenly looking away. Raising a hand to keep Harry silent, he closed his eyes and took a few deep breathe. As he opened his eyes and meet the green ones again, the glimmer Harry saw had vanished. “So thank you, Potter. Maybe it’s not that much for you, but it means the world to me. And I know we’re going to see each other a little bit more now that we have Teddy and Alyssa in common, but if it bothers you, I’ll make myself as tiny as possible. I know what I’ve done, I know who I’ve been, and I’d understand if I disgusted you; but if you ever need something I can help you with, I’ll do it. Whatever it is. I will pay our debt toward you and make amends.  
-Malfoy” Harry called back as the blond boy was already living the room.   
Grabbing a shirt, he hurried out of the bed but his ex-arch nemesis had already retrieved behind his own bedroom door.”


	4. Chapter 4

When Harry woke up a few hours later, his first thoughts went to Malfoy. Malfoy in his oversized sleeping shirt, bare from his thighs down to his feet, visiting him in the middle of the night before running away. His pale skin glowing in the soft light and his long bed hair hallowing him. Shaking his head vigorously, he tried to focus himself on whatever else. He was too old for this. A pretty face and a little bit of skin shouldn’t be enough to distract him that much. Malfoy came to apologize, not to be used in one of his fantasy. Casting a quick tempus, he decided it was late enough to head to the shower and make some breakfast for his hosts.   
That’s how he found himself at six forty making waffle and humming quietly the catchiest song of the year while Blaise quietly opened the main door, careful not to wake anyone up. Hearing the unusual singing, he unknowingly ended up staring at the boy swaying his hips in his kitchen.  
“Oh God you scared me.” Harry breathed out, a hand on his heart after catching glimpse of the unwanted spectator in his peripheral vision. “I didn’t hear you coming.  
-I’m sorry I didn’t mean to. I didn’t expect anyone up, and you even less. What are you doing here?  
-They asked me to spend the night, so I could help Neville finished the baby room. I’m sorry, I thought you knew.  
-I didn’t.” He frowned deeper, but came close, making Harry instinctively take a step back. “What are you cooking? Pancakes?  
-Waffles. Do you want one?  
-Keep me one for later, would you? I’m going to bed. Been working all night.” He added, in an unacknowledged try out at being familiar toward Pansy’s boyfriend’s good friend.  
“Um, I think your bed is taken. Malfoy said Nott was sleeping in your bed, and I slept in his. I’m sorry.” He awkwardly added, gesturing something in the air with the wooden spoon.  
“Don’t worry, we’re Saturday. Draco has already left. I just hope Theo-  
-Left?” Harry asked abruptly. How could he talk to him if he had already left the house?  
“Yeah… Is it a problem?  
-Oh no, it’s just, i- I had something to tell him.  
-I can take the message.  
-It can wait.  
-If you say so.” He vaguely concluded, seemingly heading outside of the room. “Oh, and one last thing Potter,” he warned of, stopping under the vine, “I’ll hear about whatever you do or say to him. He might have changed, but if you ever do as much as lay a finger on him, I’d be glad to prove I haven’t.”


	5. Chapter 5

“Harry Potter.” dramatically declaimed a voice a few minutes later. To his surprise, Harry found Theodore Nott standing in the middle of the living room in nothing else that sweat pants. Clearly the Slytherins never heard about pyjama.  
“Hi. Good morning. I’m baking waffle. If you’re interested.  
-And he cooks!” Nott nearly shouted, throwing his hand in the air. “Salazar yes, I’m interested! Can I help you?  
-It’s nearly done, thank you. Maybe you can grab the jam.  
-In my ability. How was your night? Slept well? My bed can get a little bit cranky sometimes.  
-What?  
-I failed a charm and it rebounded on it.” he casually explained, setting the table.  
“It was okay. I guess… So you’re studying from home?” Harry asked, relieved to find someone warm after Zabini’s cold shower. If he had to stay six more hours in the house, finding a potential ally couldn’t be useless.  
“It’s complicated, but I’m trying. Do we put butter on waffles?  
-I really don’t think so, you do?  
-I don’t know. Never eaten some. Prohibited at home; muggle food.  
-Oh. Then don’t go to the butter. Jam or sugar, chocolate paste if you got some, but don’t try butter.  
-To another first time.” He cheered, raising his waffle toward Harry before biting in it. “Um so good.  
-Thanks. So, are you studying anything else than charms?   
-I gave up on charms, actually. I didn’t get along with Pansy’s wand.” He shrugged. “So I’m bound to theory. I took Arithmancy, ancient runes and history. And you? I guess you’re keeping DADA and potions.  
-Indeed. Charms and transfigurations too.   
-Cool. Didn’t want to try out Alchemy?  
-I’m far from good enough at potion for it.  
-Far from? You were the best of our class with Slughorn!  
-Ahem, I’ve been… helped a lot.” He tried out, taking his attention back to the waffle in his plate. “What happened to your wand?  
-Erm, the DMLE kept it.  
-Oh. I’m sorry...” he glanced up, finding Nott looking down.  
“I don’t know if Neville told you but there’s a college not far from here, it’s quite a lovely place actually. Not as impressive as Hogwarts of course, but you know, the feeling. Anyway, I’m working in their library and as it’s not the busiest job ever I started reading about muggle history and I got to say that it’s rather impressive! And I still haven’t reached the Middle Age! How do Muggle get to learn all this before turning 17?  
-Um, I think we mostly fly above most of it and focus on some precise events? I can’t really tell, in primary school I’ve mostly learn about England own history so…   
-Does Granger study muggle subjects? I mean, everyone know you’re not um, interested in theory, but her- did she keep on with her muggle scholarship?  
-I got to say I don’t know. I don’t think so but it’s Hermione, so… I’ll ask her.  
-Cool, thanks.   
-Do you all work around here?  
-Blaise’s working in the city itself so he has to take the bus but Draco and I are not that far from work. Hopefully. I couldn’t stand taking three buses anymore. I worked in a coffee shop during summer. It wasn’t really far but there was no direct line. Spent most of my time cursing the muggle network.  
-In a coffee shop?  
-Isn’t it how it’s called?  
-It is, it is. It’s just.. surprising. I really hadn’t pictured you… like that.  
-Working in a shop? Yeah, me neither. I hated that job but we had to make money. I stole stuff from home back then but… it’s still home, I just can’t sell all of our silverware and doorknobs. But thank Merlin, I found the job at the library.   
-I’m sorry you had to leave the Wizarding World.  
-It’s okay, now. Plus, it’s better this way. For everyone.” He nodded, inspecting his second waffle. “Pansy should be awake soon. She can’t sleep with that belly.  
-Who could’ve guessed, uh? Pansy and Neville falling in love and having a baby.  
-I bet Trelawney wouldn’t have seen that coming.  
-Clearly not.” Harry laughed slightly, remembering his whacky ex teacher. Maybe it wasn’t that funny, but the boy sitting in front of him seemed to unwind a little bit, making Harry force a little bit more his smile. He knew Nott’s father was a Death Eater and that he was serving a life sentence in Azkaban. He knew Nott didn’t have a mother or any sibling. And he knew that the world wasn’t split between good persons and Death Eaters. Watching him smile back, it felt like Theodore was taking the right path.


	6. Chapter 6

Harry was laying on his bed in the Gryffindor tower’s, waiting for his friends to come back from Hogsmeade. Even if he was glad to have a few hours to himself, he couldn’t wait to tell them about his latest twenty four hours and hear about their day off.  
He already went to his Headmistress office to give her some news of her ex students and informed Professor Sprout that Neville had found a job at a wizard herbalist. Unfortunately, Hagrid wasn’t in his hut. He was probably somewhere in the Forbidden Forest or teaching. He would have liked to talk to him, would have needed him to help him clear his mind. He talked to Professor McGonagall, but it wasn’t the same. He couldn’t tell her about his fears, knowing most of them were unfounded, but still needing someone to tell him they were.  
Neville and Pansy had asked him to be Alyssa’s godfather.  
Godfather.  
Agreeing on being Teddy’s had been obvious, he was Remus and Tonk’s son. How could he say no? Padfoot wasn’t there anymore and the war was getting closer day by day. He couldn’t have said no. But being Alyssa’s…  
He’d asked them why; why they hadn’t chose Seamus as the two boys had drawn closer during their Sixth Year. He even asked why they didn’t want Malfoy to be. But Malfoy had already accepted and Seamus was going to be the Cool Uncle. They wanted someone to take care, no, raise their child, if anything happened to them; and Neville couldn’t picture anyone else than him.  
They asked him in the middle of the nursery and Harry had stayed silent for a good minute. How could he say yes? But how could he say no? If something ever happened to them, of course he’d look after the child; but choosing a godfather only seemed to draw tragedy. Fighting back his suddenly overwhelming feelings, he had backed off until he felt the fresh air. They had offered him some tea and time, said it was okay if he didn’t accept, but how could they understand it didn’t had anything to do with them?   
Yes, Harry was definitely in need of Hagrid’s help.   
Burying his head on his pillow, he let out a low growl.

As he woke up to the sound of his fellow mates invading the common room, Harry growled again. He’d probably fallen asleep while overthinking; and now his friends were back, talking loudly, and he still hadn’t figure anything out.  
“Oi Harry! How was it?” Seamus asked, jumping happily on him. “Oh you were sleeping? You drool a little bit.  
-Shove off pixie.” He bit, cleansing his mouth with the back of his hand. “And I don’t drool.  
-Better learn it from me than from your date, right?  
-For fuck’s safe…  
-Someone’s all moody.” He sang, leaving the bed and walking toward the room. “See you downstairs in five.”

Sighting deeply, he stretched out his entire body, not ready to enter the arena. However, walking down the stairs, he couldn’t help but find his said moodiness absolutely out of place. His friends were alive, most of them actually; and they were all laughing and happy. Months ago, he could never have dreamed of it. When he attended all those funerals, when he watched Ron collapsed, he had wished for days like this. And those days had come so quickly. He didn’t have the right to rain on their parade. They all deserved it.  
“So, who wants to see a pic of a very pregnant Pansy?” he shouted as he jumped the last couple of stairs.

Sitting with his chosen family, Harry described everything, deliberately omitting his midnight encounter with Malfoy. With a deep breathe, he told them about the godfather proposal, fearing Seamus’s reaction. Surprisingly, he didn’t seem pained at all and, to his bigger surprise, only stated in a sad low voice “I always thought he would asked Luna.” before Dean asked why he hadn’t accepted yet. None of them found his answer stupid. None of them seemed reproachful for opening the gate to the memory lane. Contrariwise, his confession was met with kindness and a pat on the shoulder.   
Sitting in front of the fireplace, facing his dearest friends, he knew in his heart that he could never have dreamed of something better.

 

That night, when Harry came to the Owlery to find Pigwidgeon, he carried two letters. One for Neville and Pansy, telling them how happy he was to become Alyssa’s godfather, how everyone here was impatient and excited to meet the two girl of Neville’s life; and one for Malfoy.   
In the silence of the deserted library, he had told his two best friends about the blond boy, what was said and how he ran away; how the whole situation was affecting him. With a glance toward Hermione, Ron had simply accio-ed some parchment.  
“Write to him.” he simply stated. “If he won’t listen, he might read.”  
It took him time, finding the good words. It took him times and the skin of all of his nails, but a few hours later, he was holding to the small owl the little envelope.


	7. Chapter 7

Lying in his bed and wide awake, Harry thought he’d never find sleep again. For hours he’s been trying not to think about Malfoy opening his letter, and for hours he has been failing. He had pictured every options, imagined him in every room of the house. Sometimes he didn’t even read the letter but tear it apart when realising it was from him. How was he supposed to fall asleep if his heart couldn’t calm down for a solid minute?   
He couldn’t just ignore Malfoy. Not now that he lived with Neville and that he was, too, going to be his baby’s godfather. Not now that he’d seen him again.  
The boy he had barely seen had nothing to do with the spoiled prat from school, the terrorised Death Eater or even the hopeless Azkaban detainee. This was a whole new side of him he wanted to discover. It seemed like the human one. He hoped it was the real one.

Harry Potter  
Hogwarts, school of Witchcraft and Wizardry. 

Harry took the envelope from the little grey owl, absentmindedly ruffling their feathers. It wasn’t that uncommon for him to receive unknown owl during breakfast, but he couldn’t stop but hoping it was him. The writing was quite worked, italic cursive, all wide loop and narrow peak. It could be him.  
Closing his eyes, he tried to steady his breath. It was just a letter. A letter.  
“You alright, mate?”  
Opening one, Harry saw Cormac eyeing him suspiciously.   
“I’m fine, thanks.” He answered.  
With a loud sight, he grabbed his toasts and left the Great Hall. If it really was a letter from Malfoy, there was no way he would read it next to McLaggen. 

Harry,  
I can’t express how Neville and I are happy about your decision. Welcome in the family!  
Neville says hi! to all of his friends and wishes he can see them soon.  
Have a nice day,  
Pansy.  
P.S: Theo asks about Hermione curriculum. I don’t wanna know what it means. 

It wasn’t Malfoy. Harry let his head rest again the wall and cursed between his lips. It wasn’t Malfoy. As anger tears started forming behind his eyelids, he cursed louder. The last days, the last months, the last years, everything, nearly everything in his life has been fucked up. It has been a hell to get through, but he had gotten through. And never once did Malfoy made his life easier. But still he chose to ignore all those people asking him, begging him not to talk to the Malfoys trials, not to plead in their favour. He chose to set aside their past, to focus on the latest events, to be open minded and forgiving, and the bastard couldn’t even answer a letter. 

“We barely saw you today. Everything’s alright mate?” Ron asked him during dinner as he absentmindedly poked his food.   
“I’ve been feeding the thestrals. Someone has to.” Now that Luna’s gone he added to himself. “I’m tired, heading to bed. See you tomorrow.”   
“Did something happen at Neville’s?” Seamus asked when Harry disappeared behind the great wooden doors. “He’s … weird since yesterday. I thought it was the godfather thing but…  
-I don’t know.” Hermione answered, looking to where her friend has been. “I don’t know.”


	8. Chapter 8

As he woke up on Monday morning, Harry couldn’t help but feel guilty again. He couldn’t be angry at Malfoy for not answering his letter and it wasn’t fair to bite every time his friends cared for him. Letting the cold water cleaned his thoughts and carried them down the drain, the Saviour decided it was time he stopped worrying about the unknown coming future. Whatever happens would happen; there was no good in trying to plan everything up. Nothing was at stake anymore. There was no upcoming deadline. If Malfoy needed time, if he was one for midnight one-sense confession, he’d do with it. He had life in front of him, they all had now. What was wrong in wasting a little bit of it?   
He didn’t need Malfoy agreement, or even his listening; maybe no words were needed at all. His behaviour should be enough to make him understands he wasn’t disgusted nor did he want him to disappear from his sight. They didn’t even have to become friends. And as true as it was that he wanted to get to know him better, he could keep on awkwardly dancing around his house instead of talking to him. Maybe that would even help taming him. 

“You look better today, mate.  
-Good morning to you too, Seamus.” Harry smiled back as his friends started flowing inside the Great Hall, taking seats around him. “Hermione’s not with you?  
-She had to jump at the library before.” Ron answered, scanning the food.  
“That girl’s completely nut.  
-Completely. But you can’t say it. It’s boyfriend privilege.  
-As if you never said it before! I perfectly remember you saying it in first year!  
-He was already in love ~~  
-Shut up Dean.  
-Oi, you can’t tell him to shut up. It’s boyfriend privilege!  
-Harry! Say something!  
-I am really sorry of not being able to call on the boyfriend privilege.  
-I’m really not helped here…” Ron groaned, rolling his eyes as he watched the three of them high five.  
“He’s always on our side, Weasel!  
-Don’t call me that!  
-It’s Slytherin privilege?” Dean burst of laughing.  
“I’m sure that now I could perfectly make you spit slugs.  
-War hero Ronald Bilius Weasley! Watch out or you’ll spit slugs!  
-Better than watch out or expelliarmus!  
-What are you on about?” Hermione wondered as she sat beside them, a pile of book within her.   
“Nonsense. What is it all for?” Her boyfriend asked, nodding toward the books.  
“Well, I took example on Neville and  
-You what?  
-You got pregnant?  
-You’re dating Pansy?  
-What?” Hermione shouted back to the echoing voices of her really dismaying friends. “By Merlin, no! I’m thinking of taking half of my NEWT before Christmas so I could take more on June.  
-That makes more sense.” Seamus whispers on Harry’s left, making him smile. Hermione wishing to pass more exams strangely would always make more sense than anything else.  
“But then, what?” As his friends suddenly turned to him, Harry realised he had talked out loud. “Um, sorry.” He blurted out. “Wasn’t meant to be said.  
-What do you mean, then what?  
-After Hogwarts. What will you do with all those NEWTs after Hogwarts?  
-Oh, this. Well, I think the more I learn the more possibility I’ll have, so taking a few NEWTs more can’t hurt.  
-No one knows what they’ll do next year, then?” Harry asked, half relieved, half anxious.  
“I’ll work with George at the shop.  
-All of your life?  
-Maybe not, who cares?” he shrugged. “Got all my life to decide. I can work at WW for two or twelve years, then become an Auror or a pastry chef. As long as I like it, I’ll do whatever the fuck I want. And you should probably do the same.  
-Work at WW?  
-You got no sense of fun, you’d ruin the shop.  
-And you have?  
-Oh George knows how to make fun of him!” Hermione laughed, hitting him slightly on the arm. “The clients love him!  
-And you?” Harry asked, turning to face Dean and Seamus as the two lovebirds in front of him have started bickering-kissing.  
“I’d like to study art a little bit more. And I think Shay should work in a circus.  
-As long as I can blow things up.  
-Or he could rob banks.  
-I could dress up as a leprechaun and do magic trick for the muggles.  
-So you’ve got no clue.” Harry summed up quickly as Seamus started to mutter something, waving his wand at himself. “An art school, that sounds- OH MY GOD SEAMUS!  
-It worked! Baby it worked!” Seamus cheerfully exploded, kissing his lover on full mouth. The entire hall had suddenly fell silence before it burst with laughers. At the professor tables, half the teachers had joined the students in their hilarity while the other was face palming: on the Gryffindor table was now win dancing a small old man, all dressed of green.  
“I really hope you know the counterspell cause I won’t spend my life with… that.” Dean warned, clearly disgusted.   
Rising from her seat, the Headmistress made her way to their table, obviously amused.  
“If Mister Finnigan would make us the pleasure to turn back to his original form.  
-Erm  
-Oh my god oh my god he doesn’t know the counterspell. He doesn’t know the counterspell! I swear I’m gonna kill you!  
-No one’s gonna kill anyone, Mister Thomas. I’ll take good care of it. Mister Finnigan, please follow me.  
-Why am I in love him with again?” Dean asked horrified as the little old man happily followed McGonnagal down the hall, cheering back to the students.

 

By the end of the day, Seamus had found his own body back, Dean was still ignoring him and Hermione weighting the pro and cons of taking new subjects in the middle of her seven years.  
“The world’s gone mental.” Ron whispered to Harry as they walked toward the Quidditch pitch. “Absolutely mental.  
-Our world has always been.”


	9. Chapter 9

Harry didn’t really know what he was supposed to do. As usual, he had left the tower way before his friends, and so found himself on his own at the Gryffindor table when the not so unknown grey owl came to deliver Neville’s letter. Baby’s coming! he said. Going to the hospital. Hoping to see you when the baby’s here! Nev. The second page was a plan of a city where the hospital has been circled in red. A red cross has been made a few blocks away, noted as Apparition point. As long as it was pretty obvious that Neville wanted him there, he had no clue on when he was supposed to be. “When the baby’s here … Thank you dude.” he grumbled, looking around for an answer-knowing person. “Professor!” he shouted across the Great Hall, as Minerva McGonagall left the Great Hall. “Professor McGonagall!”

 

Harry still didn’t know what he was supposed to do. He had knocked on the plastic door and walked in the room. He had crossed the border between the known and unknown, and here, inside the hospital room, he really didn’t know what he was supposed to do. Pansy was lying in a bed, seemingly exhausted but smiling from cheek to cheek. Neville was sitting on her right, holding her hand to his lips; the both of them were grinning at the little something wailing in Malfoy’s arms. Standing on their left, the blond boy was delicately carrying the new-born, tracing her features with light brush of his index; he was looking as happy as the newly parents. Nott was standing behind him, laughing fondly as the baby caught Malfoy’s finger on his hand.  
Looking up to Pansy, he finally spotted Harry on the doorframe. “Come in Potter, no one’s gonna bite you.  
-Harry! We hadn’t heard you comin’! May I introduce you to Alyssa Parkinson Longbottom?” Neville asked without leaving his smile.  
“Come on, Potter, you’re not gonna stand there!” Malfoy called on. “And don’t think I’m gonna walk up to you, that girl won’t stop moving. Look, she’s waiting for you” He kept on, tightening his hold around the baby girl. “Don’t you wanna meet your other godfather?” he joyfully asked the child as Harry finally decided to cross the room. “He slays Dark Lords but fears small children.” He laughed, frowning his nose.  
“She’s too young for this, Dray!” Pansy shouted.  
“If mommy says so.” He grinned back, deviously.   
“If mommy says so.” Neville repeated, leaning to kiss her cheek. “You can hold her, if you want. Harry.  
-What?  
-I said you can hold her if you want.  
-Oh? No, it’s okay. She looks good there.  
-Scarred, Potter?” Malfoy’s eyes asked with malice.   
“Erm, yes.” He admitted, looking down to the little human. “Definitely. She’s so small and-“ he trailed off, brushing a stray piece of black hair away from the baby’s face. “She has your nose, Nev, right?  
-As long as she has her mother eyes, she can deal with my nose.  
-More as long as she doesn’t have your ears.” Nott joked.  
“Hey you.” Harry whispered, not caring at all about the others. “Welcome to Earth. I’m your uncle Harry. From your daddy’s side.  
-You sure you don’t wanna hold her?” Malfoy asked softly.  
“I’m okay, thanks.” He absentmindedly answered, too busy brushing her belly.  
“Potter’s in love.  
-How not?” Raising his eyes from Alyssa, Harry found himself easily lost in Malfoy shimmering grey ones. He hadn’t realised how close they were, only inches apart. Only a baby apart. “Sorry.” He awkwardly mumbled, taking a step back. “She’s gorgeous.” He said, turning to face Pansy. “All my congratulations.”


	10. Chapter 10

Harry found himself kissing Pansy goodbye before hugging Neville tightly. The girl was obviously making effort to stay awake as she waved them out of the room. The day has been long, and as he found himself alone with Malfoy and Nott, he hoped for the night to be easy on him. He had agree on spending it at their, finishing the nursery while the other boys would clean the house and babyproof it before Augusta Longbottom and Narcissa Malfoy invade it the next morning. Everything has to be perfect for the two grand(grand)mothers, but with Alyssa showing up two weeks earlier than planned, Neville was more stressed out than for a detention with Snape. Harry didn’t have the heart to say no. Once a saviour… he sighed, following the two Slytherin out in the night.  
“Harry.” Nott called him, slowing down his pace so Malfoy would be a few steps ahead. “Thank you for coming helping. I know you were supposed to come back to Hogwarts.  
-I wasn’t going to let Neville down.  
-Sure… Are you… Are you okay, walking with us? Or do you rather Apparate home?  
-As you want. I haven’t really talked to Malfoy since- I haven’t really talked to him so I don’t want to make him uncomfortable.  
-Then walk with us.” He smiled. In front of them, Malfoy has crouched before a bike and was slowly freeing it from its chain. “Dray, do you have a spare bus ticket?”

Sitting beside Nott in the bus, Harry looked at the last photo he had taken during the day. He hadn’t even realised that he’s been photographed when he met Alyssa, but the picture was there.  
“Do you wanna keep it? I’ve got another one of you.” He offered, tiding the rest of the pictures.  
“Thank you.” He answered, still looking at it. It was muggle and slightly blurred as he has just moved his hand toward the baby but he couldn’t help but smile at it. Quickly glancing at the real Malfoy, Harry couldn’t help but being overwhelmed by the same feeling he had felt a few hours ago. Hood on, the blond boy was looking out of the window, his forehead resting against the glass and for a few seconds, he would have wish to be a legilimens.  
“You can talk to him, you know.” Nott whispered in his ear.  
“I don’t  
-Whatever Potter.” He smirked, and Harry could feel the blush spreading across his cheeks.


	11. Chapter 11

“Potter?  
-A sec.” Harry required as he kept waving his wand toward the flying mobile, spelling it to stay rotating mid-air.  
“Have you already cast the lights?” The voice asked, and Harry turned around ,knowing he was finally going to face Malfoy.  
“The lights?  
-There’s supposed to be light coming from behind the alcoves. It projects shadows all around the room.  
-Oh. It should be on the next page then.  
-Could you try it now? Please?  
-Of course.”  
Taking another glance at the old written book, Harry casted the spell under the cautious gaze of his ex-arch nemesis.   
“Did it work?” As Malfoy switch off the room lights, Harry got his answers. On the walls, animals were suddenly running in circles in front of the colours changing lights. “Oh, wow.  
-I know. It’s one of my oldest memories.” He whispered, trailing his hand alongside the wall. “I was heartbroken when Father decided I was too old for it.  
-Maybe you could ask Alyssa to keep it in your room when she’ll ask Nev to remove it.  
-I mostly hope there would be another baby to need it.  
-Does Teddy have one?  
-No, as the Black one is here. It’s said it was a gift from Cygnus Black Senior for Cassiopeia Black birth, back in the beginning of the century. As she didn’t have any child, she gave it to my grandmother, who gave it to Mother, who gave it to Pansy. But I would understand if you wanted Teddy to have it. He’s a Black, it belongs to him.  
-No it’s okay. I’ll make him one, if I can borrow the book.  
-Please yourself. We won’t need it for half a decade.” He said, leaving the shadows side to turn the light on, switching off the mobile. “Thank you for your help. We’re done downstairs too, if you wanna come and share dinner.  
-Is it all?” Harry abruptly asked as the white-blond boy took off his hand from the doorframe, ready to leave the room. “You-  
-I?” He turned back to face him, brows arching.  
“Is it all you had to say?  
-What were you expecting, Potter? Neville only asked you cause you’ve got a wand. I’m not going down on my knees for that.  
-What? No!  
-Then what else?  
-Have you read my letter?” He gushed as he felt his old annoyance toward Malfoy formed again.  
“Your letter?” he repeated, taking a step back.  
“Yes, my letter. The one I send last Sunday. The only one I’ve ever written to you in fact.  
-I have.” He let out from between his clenched teeth.  
“And this is it?” Harry tried not to spat, gesturing toward the other boy.  
“What else could it be? Have you finally changed your mind and expect something out of me? Then say it Potter! What do you want? What do you want from me, then? Come on Potter! Say it! SAY IT!”  
As footstep hurried up the stairs, Harry found trouble swallowing. In his fury Malfoy had crossed the distance between them and stood a few inches away from him, fulminating. Hopefully for him, he was indeed the only one with a wand.  
“Say it you pitiful saviour. I wanna hear what my life’s worth to you.  
-I just” Harry began, stopping midway in a failed attempt at untying the knot down his throat. “I just wanted us to talk. I wanted things to be clear between us. I wanted to know if you’ve read my letter, if you understood what I’ve been trying to say in there. That I didn’t want anything from you except a chance at normality. I still don’t want you to do anything because of - because you think you owe me. Cause you don’t. I just wanted to talk about all of it with you, as you didn’t give me a chance the other night. I couldn’t stand not knowing if you’ve read it, I’m sorry.  
-Oh.” Was all Malfoy could say for a solid minute. “Oh.” He repeated, walking away from Harry. “I’m sorry, I misunderstood. I thought you  
-changed my mind? I haven’t.  
-I’m sorry.  
-Maybe we could do it again?” He offered softly.   
Malfoy nodded so slightly Harry wasn’t sure he had until he stopped at the doorframe. “Oh, and Potter, I got your letter. I think I’d like it too, trying not to be enemies.  
-To not enemies, then.” He smiled to Malfoy’s back.  
“Don’t expect anything else. It’s not because Longbottom knocked Pansy up that I’m going to like you. You still suck.  
-And you’re obviously still a prat.”  
Malfoy let out a low laughter and Harry knew he was smiling too. “Let’s eat dinner, then.  
-Malfoy?” He called out a last time as the other boy began walking down the stairs.  
“Yes?  
-Why did you run away last night?  
-I don’t know.  
-Okay.” He accepted, closing the nursery door behind me. “Okay.” He whispered to himself.


	12. Chapter 12

Harry woke up alert and alarmed. Glass has exploded downstairs, fulfilling the silent house. Steadying his racing heart, he pricked up his ears for the slightest sound around. If it hasn’t been in a dream, he would hear something. Then again, the same sound. Glass breaking on the floor, shattering into pieces. Someone really was downstairs. Grabbing his wand, he ran out of Nott’s bed and room, ready to take down any intruder when someone firmly grabbed his arm, taking him back abruptly.  
“Don’t.” Nott ordered him, pushing him against the wall. “Calm down, it’s okay.  
-There’s someone  
-I know.” He cut quickly, speaking low. “It’s Draco.   
-Breaking glass?  
-Dropping glasses, yes.”   
Harry stopped fighting for release when he heard another glass get smashed. Nott’s arm was still against his chest but he wasn’t holding him up anymore.  
“Shit.” He muttered, letting go of Harry. “Don’t say a word.  
-What the  
-I said shut the fuck up Potter okay?!” He shouted, however still whispering. “He did that, sometimes, okay? It helps him, hearing things break.” When Harry nodded, agreeing on staying silent, Nott took a step back while glancing down the stairs as a thud preceded the next explosion. “Okay okay okay. Just keep quiet and setback, understood? We’re taking him back to bed.” 

Doing as told, Harry stayed behind the vine, waiting for any order. Nott was carefully walking to Malfoy who kept taking out glasses from the closet one after the other, throwing some on the wall or dropping three in one move.  
“Don’t touch me!” Malfoy yelled, walking away from Nott reach. “I said don’t touch me!  
-Everything’s alright, Dray. It’s just me, it’s Theo. It’s Theo.” He repeated, slowly reaching out to him.   
“Back off! I said don’t touch me!  
-Draco it’s me! It’s Theo! Theodore Nott. What you saw, it wasn’t real, okay?   
-Liar! Back off! Now!  
-It was a dream. You’re safe, here, Dray. It’s just you and me, Theo. You’re okay Draco, you’re okay.” He kept on as he took a few step back. On the opposite corner, Malfoy’s grey eyes were still wide opened in terror.  
“Just a dream.  
-Yes, just a dream. A dream. I promise Draco, it was just a dream. We’re the four of November 98, Pansy just gave birth to Alyssa so she’s staying at the hospital with Neville tonight. Blaise’s working. Everything is okay, Dray. You are okay.  
-I can’t… I can’t do it… I don’t want to do it  
-Then don’t do it, Dray. You’re out of reach now, you’re safe here.  
-You don’t understand! I can’t do it! I can’t do it but if I don’t, he said he’d kill me!  
-Draco, sweetie, I promise he won’t hurt you anymore. You’re safe and sound here, you’re safe and sound. He can’t hurt you anymore. No one can.  
-Back off!” Malfoy suddenly shouted again as Nott had walked to him. “You can’t help me! No one can! He’ll find me and if you stay with me he’ll kill every one of us!  
-Draco it’s over! The war is over! He can’t hurt you anymore, he’s gone Draco! He’s dead!  
-No no no, he… you don’t understand… He…   
-Draco…” Nott repressed himself for running to his friend as he let himself sink against the wall. But as Malfoy started sobbing, talking incomprehensibly, he gave up. Hugging him tight first, then, as Malfoy slowly ceased fighting, rocking him back and forth.


	13. Chapter 13

Standing behind the vine, Harry knew he shouldn’t be there. He knew he shouldn’t have witnessed it. But here he was, and Malfoy had stopped crying. Nott was seated by his side, still whispering and holding him tight although he probably wasn’t listened anymore. Eyes closed, Malfoy seemed asleep. And even if he wasn’t, it didn’t matter: he didn’t look terrified anymore.  
“Potter.” Nott called, gesturing him to come nearer. “Help me get him to bed, please.”  
Nodding, Harry got out his wand, catching silently a wingardium leviosa as Nott carried the sleeping boy upstairs. 

“Do you want me to stay for a while?” Harry asked.  
Nott looked up to him, quite surprise, but smiled lightly. “I’d like to.” He whispered back. “Thank you, for everything.   
-It’s okay, don’t worry.” He smiled back, biting his lower lip. There were a hundred questions he wanted to ask but how could he when the other boy seemed so sad and exhausted. Malfoy hadn’t let go of him as he was put to bed, twisting and moaning when he had tried to get out of his grip. The nightmares weren’t far away, they all knew it. And finally, so was the war.

“Please, don’t tell your friends about it.” Nott murmured in the darkness of the room. They both have been sitting in silence for a while, letting the shy lumos dies on Harry’s wand. He didn’t know how long he’s been there, but he had eventually left the carpet and found a place at the far end of the bed.   
“I won’t.  
-Thank you. And don’t tell Neville, please, we wouldn’t want Pansy to worry.  
-Is it… How often does it happen?  
-From time to time.” He answered, uneased. “A lot less than before. But with Narcissa coming… We knew it could happen... Blaise’s trying to have his week off, while she’s there. He… He…  
-If you don’t want to talk about it, don’t force it. I don’t need to know, I’m just worried.” Nott glanced up to him, giving him a sad knowing smile. “You got it hard too Harry, haven’t you?  
-Guess we all.  
-I don’t.” he shrugged, clenching his jaw. “I don’t.  
-We really don’t have to talk about any of it.” Harry said again, softer. He didn’t need to hear what he already saw in Nott’s eyes, didn’t need to hear it to know how much he blamed himself; his shame was already crawling down his watering eyes. “What happen happened. There’s nothing we can do about it anymore. We have to go on.  
-Yeah, I know. I’m sorry I shouldn’t-  
-It’s fine, it’s fine. The night hasn’t been easy.  
-Indeed.” He forced a passionless laugh before shaking his thoughts out of his head. “Okay, so tell me, how are things at Hogwarts? How is it like with the old McG as Headmistress?   
-The old McG? This is how you Slytherins call her?   
-Salazar no! But Griffyndors do!  
-We would never! We respect her and- wait, now that I think about it I think I’ve heard that before.  
-Thank you. So tell me, how is Professor McGonagall as a Headmistress then?”

Casting a dim Lumos, Harry repressed a laugh; somewhere between his transfiguration essay and the latest Quidditch game, sleep had called Nott, leaving him monologue-ing like some kind of lonely psycho. Grinning form the childishness of it, he prudently left the bed and the two Slytherins sleeping behind him and made his way toward the bathroom. He had decided it was late enough to skip the I’m-going-to-bed-and-try-to-sleep-pretending-i-don’t-know-i-won’t part and, offering his face to the water jet, he tried not to think about the latest hours. He knew overthinking wouldn’t lead him somewhere as he didn’t know about the ins and outs; but he couldn’t forget that easily the overwhelming pain he had just witnessed. Maybe if … Maybe as a not enemy… Maybe from a godfather to another, from someone to someone else... Standing in front of the bedroom door, Harry let out a sight. The realm of impossibility was endless. It was Draco Malfoy and Theodore Nott he was thinking about. Son of Death Eaters; Death Eater themselves. They both have been excluded from the Wizarding World, wand confiscated. What could he know of their pain and nightmares? Their stories had nothing to do with his and even if he knew both of them had refused to fight for the dark wizard, he still didn’t know to which extent they had embraced his cause, his beliefs. And for a moment, somewhere in the echoes of his heart, resonated a voice whispering that it mattered. That it would always. But as he cautiously walked down the stairs, he noticed a new frame on the wall.   
Nott had carefully put up all the pictures he had taken at the hospital.


	14. Chapter 14

Harry was crouched on the kitchen floor, looking at his pie browning through the oven window, wondering if he should leave the house as soon as the cake was baked. It was still really early so he didn’t fear another meeting with Zabini, but he didn’t know if Malfoy had to work, and he wasn’t sure if he wanted to see him. They’ve been not enemies for two days and that wasn’t enough. That wasn’t enough if Malfoy remembered his night.  
“Potter.” Heart beating fast, Harry turned away from the oven to the boy standing at the other end of the room. Right now he didn’t have anything to do with the spoiled brat he’d met on his first day at Hogwarts, all lordliness and perfect angles. The illusion has been tried, his white collar was perfectly adjusted on his green jumper and he was wearing his old uniform trousers, but his wet hair was dripping on his too loose sweater and the bags under his eyes couldn’t be underseen. “You’re awake.” He stated, disconcerted.  
“Indeed I am.” As Malfoy didn’t seem to move or speak, his lips unknowingly started forming words, filling the unease silence. “Do you -I’m baking an apple pie, if you want some- it’ll be ready in a minute.  
-Oh, thank you but I’m on short timing and- there was… I needed to finish the cleaning before Mother  
-I’ve done the cleaning.” He cut as Malfoy kept scanning the room, looking for the hundreds of shattered glass pieces Harry had tried to fix an hour ago. So he does remember.  
“You  
-Did the cleaning, yes. I was awake.  
-Thank you.”  
Harry sighed lightly. None of this made sense; none of this was logical or even natural. They both knew it. They both had thousand words burning the tip of their tongue but here they were, dancing awkwardly around each other, vomiting useless conversations. Malfoy should at least be surprised that he was up, cleaning and baking at such ungodly hours, and not thanking him as if he wakes up every morning to his cooking. And why was he offering apple pie as if he had died for those apples? He hadn’t even planned on eating it. He fucking didn’t even care about it. He hadn’t slept more than two hours, and Malfoy had broken ninety percent of the glasses to chase away his memories. And here they were, facing each other silently, probably begging the silence to fill itself up.   
“How are you feeling?” Harry finally asked softly. Screw the silence, screw whatever unspoken rules about not querying suffering people. Screw everything. He could deal with Malfoy rejection, could handle anything he would throw at him, but he wouldn’t bear the weight of the unsaid, of the unknown. Wouldn’t bear to see Malfoy suffer.  
“Like a kid on Christmas morning.” He said, rising his gaze to anchor his silver eyes on Harry’s. “Alyssa is coming home and when I’ll be back from work, I’ll be able to appreciate my mother’s delicate tea.” He pursued, never altering the wide smile plastered on his lips. “And you? Did you sleep well?  
-What the fuck, Malfoy?  
-A problem, Potter?  
-You- You  
-It’s always a pleasure to hear such compliments in the morning. Thank you so m  
-Shut the fuck up or I’ll hex you mute.  
-You’ll hex me? Come on, I’m waiting.  
-Don’t push me.” He warned. The night had left him raw and he wasn’t up for another round of whatever game Malfoy seemed to play. He just wanted to hear that the blond boy would be alright, wanted to know if he could help in whatever way. He didn’t need another fight, didn’t want it neither.  
“I’m begging. Come on Mighty Saviour, I’ve been such a naughty boy  
-You’re disgusting.  
-But you’re a coward.  
-I am a coward? You’re not brave enough to answer honestly a fucking simple question and I am a coward?” Harry spat out of anger. By Merlin, this boy always knew how to draw the worst of him. “I walked to your Dark Lord unarmed and ready to die, and I am a coward?” he barked, feeling the cold of that night dipping its fingers in his entrails. “You’re a fucking loser Malfoy. A pathetic loser and a lost cause. Go on and live your miserable existence! Break every fucking thing on Earth or keep destroying whatever you can grasp if that’s so funny! Or you could also keep on spitting on whoever is stupid enough to try and reach out to you. Why would I fucking care?   
-I never asked you to care.” He coldly answered taken aback against the shelves. “I never asked you anything.  
-In the Room of Requirement, you did.” Harry let out, instantly regretting his words. A few meters away, Malfoy sank under his gaze, badly hit by the cruel meaning of it.  
“Get out of my house.” He barely whispered, uselessly fighting back the tears already running down his cheeks.   
-Malfoy I’m  
-I said get out of my house!” he yelled as Harry stood still.  
“Malfoy I am  
-Get out of my house! Get out! Get out get out!  
-Please Malfoy I am so sorry, I didn’t mean it, please stop screaming, Malfoy I am sorry” Harry kept repeating, tears streaming down his own face. He felt Nott sharp grab on his arm before seeing him, his words inaudible in the chaos he made. He looked furious as he tightened his hold on him, pushing him out of the house. Down on the concrete, Harry saw Malfoy running up the stairs.  
“By Salazar, you better tell me what happened before I kill you.  
-I didn’t meant to, I- I wanted to know how he was and- and we- I just wanted to talk to him  
-What did you say?  
-That he- that he asked me to save his life in the Room of Requirement.” He difficultly avowed to the ground as the words couldn’t pass his tight throat.   
“You didn’t.” Nott practically plead. “Tell me you didn’t.  
-I didn’t mean it, I- he took it that way I would never said it  
-You fucking bastard. I swear to all of the above… If you weren’t the Saviour.”  
Harry instinctively closed his eyes, ready for the blow to come as Nott’s face was twisted in pure hatred.


	15. Chapter 15

“You’re sure you’re alright mate?” Ron whispered, seated by his side on the almost deserted Great Hall. Even though he knew what happened at Neville’s, he couldn’t help but worry for his bestfriend, mostly because said bestfriend had crashed on his sleeping couch the moment he had laid a feet on the Gryffindor Tower.  
“I fucked up, I haven’t killed anyone.  
-Bless you. But still, guilt is a bitch, and the kind you fall for.   
-Language young man.” Harry heard himself warned in a bad imitation of Molly.  
“The meaning’s still true, mate.  
-I got every right to feel guilty, and ashamed. I was awful.  
-I’m sure he knows you didn’t mean it.  
-How come? Before Saturday, our last encounter was on the Room of Requirement where he almost die, at his Manor where I almost die and in the bathroom where he almost die too. I mean, there’s some kind of a pattern repeating there.  
-The fiendfyre was their idea, his father wanted to give you to Voldemort and you didn’t know what that spell was for.  
-Ron…  
-What? I’m just saying that they were stupid, his father worked for a Mass Murderer Supremacist craving the ultimate power, and you were stupid. Your pattern is stupidity.  
-You’re stupid too.  
-That’s why we get along that well.” He laughed, hitting him slightly with his shoulder. “Now eat, or I’ll have to call mom.” 

The two boys had almost finished their early breakfast when Argus Filch limped in the Great Hall, calling the saviour name. Harry rose from his bench under Ron questioning look.   
“Someone’s waiting for you outside the Gate, Mr Potter.” The caretaker informed as he reached their table. “He introduced himself as Blaise Zabini and mentioned an accident with Neville Longbottom and his daughter.   
-Mate, he’s here for Malfoy.” Ron whispered, knowing the old man would listen anyway.  
“Or something really happened to Neville and the baby. He’s the only one able to Apparate.   
-The Gate is protected by numerous spells, Mr Potter.” He set out, confirming his over listening. “Nothing can pass through unless you say the words to let him and his magic come in.  
-Which are?  
-Haven’t been heedful in class, have you?” he smirked. “How surprising of you, Mr Potter.  
-Could you please tell me the password again?  
-Intra amici mei.” He recited. “And don’t forget to close the gate!” he shouted as the wizards were already hurrying outside the room. 

Outside the tall black gate was effectively standing Blaise Zabini. Harry noted with a sigh of relief that he didn’t look anxious or fearful at all. Ron has been right; his presence had nothing to do with Neville.  
“It’s okay, Ron. You can wait for me here.  
-Sure?  
-Sure.” He confirmed. He didn’t want his friend to hear whatever could be said about Malfoy, but an ally not that far couldn’t be useless.

“Intra amici mei” Harry whispered as he got nearer. Keeping Zabini outside of the castle was tempting, but was guarantee to worsen the situation. “I guess Nev and Alyssa are alright.” He shouted as he kept walking toward the other boy.  
“Indeed. But we need to talk.”  
In a few steps, they’d be face to face, and Harry could feel his body tense with the memory of their last encounter. Whatever he was here for, Harry was ready. Nott wasn’t the kind to hit, but Zabini probably was.  
“I want to know what happened this morning.” He, to Harry’s surprise, rather calmly explained. “All of it.  
-Hasn’t Nott told you?  
-Look Potter, I want to go home and sleep a bit; plus I‘ve been dealing with enough morons for the day. Now my first plan was to Apparate here and strangle you, or at least, redo that stupid face of yours. But I chose not to, so don’t make me regret it, okay? I’m here to talk and try to understand what the fuck happened. Cause you can’t be that cold hearted. I mean, right, you tried to kill him before, but in the fiendfyre? Even I wouldn’t have let anyone die there. There’s still a little chance that maybe you meant what you said, and I’ll probably hit you, but then I’ll leave you alone. But if you don’t, you’d rather tell me now cause you won’t have another chance.


	16. Chapter 16

Back in Hogwarts, back when he was somebody, Blaise never felt like a day was doomed ex officio, never felt like nothing worthy could come. But checking for the second time that the door was well closed, he sighed deeply. The only thing worthy this day could bring was the two hours of sleep he hoped to catch before the Great Invasion. He knew he probably should be happy or at least somehow excited by Alyssa homecoming, but he wasn’t. He didn’t want to meet Neville’s grandma, nor having Narcissa Malfoy taking up residence in Theo’s bedroom. He didn’t want to spend the week with them, didn’t want to play pretend and act as if everything was common but fulfilling. He didn’t want to play the happy wizard living by muggles while dealing with Neville and Pansy awful discovery of what being parents at eighteen really meant.   
But as his eyes closed the moment his head rest on the bus window, he knew what he truly wanted, truly needed. He wanted to sleep and wake up two months later. Then, maybe, he’d be able to handle whatever comes his way with a little bit more of interest.

Walking home, he felt a little less gloomy. A forty minutes nap was always a good warm up before a two hours night.   
“Theo?” he called from afar as he spotted his friend sitting on the mat in his dressing gown. Trotting toward him, he felt the adrenaline starting to kick in as worries grew inside him. “What’s wrong? Is Pansy okay?”  
-It’s not Pansy, Blaise. It’s Draco. Potter”

Blaise didn’t really know what he was doing when he Apparated to Hogwarts. He hadn’t think about it, just felt the urge to strangle the obnoxious Potter and his brain had made its choice quicker than himself. But standing in front of the closed gates, neither his brain nor his heart knew what to do anymore. In the dim light of the rising sun, he could clearly see the castle above him, and he took a step back.   
“What do you want?” Filch growled, pulling him out of his wondering.  
Of course it would be the old Squib. Not even a war could kill that one.   
“I need to see Potter.” He stated as calmly as he could, cleaning his mind from the memories flying around.  
“And I need a new broom.  
-Probably.” He whispered, rubbing his eyes. “I’m Blaise Zabini. I used to be a student here, and Harry Potter is the godfather of my best friend’s newborn. And I know that you’re Argus Filch. But there was an accident and I really need to speak to him right now, so if you could please take me to him.  
-I can’t let you in.  
-Then take him to me. Please Mr Filch.” He tried, hoping that the man was craving the respect no one seemed to think he could deserve. “Tell him I need to see him urgently. Tell him it’s about Pansy Parkinson and Alyssa. Please Mr Filch.  
-Stay here, Mr Zabini.” The old man finally said before limping away.   
Whatever Potter could say in a few minutes, he’d still have to pay for that humiliation.

“I guess Nev and Alyssa are alright.” Potter shouted a few meter away from him. Nothing here really seemed to have change. The castle was the same, every ruin had been repaired, and Scarehead still wear his one and only shirt.   
“Indeed. But we need to talk. I want to know what happened this morning.” He explained as the door slowly opened. “All of it.  
-Hasn’t Nott told you?  
-Look Potter, I want to go home and sleep a bit; plus I‘ve been dealing with enough morons for the day. Now my first plan was to Apparate here and strangle you, or at least, redo that stupid face of yours. But I chose not to, so don’t make me regret it, okay? I’m here to talk and try to understand what the fuck happened. Cause you can’t be that cold hearted. I mean, right, you tried to kill him before, but in the fiendfyre? Even I wouldn’t have let anyone die there. There’s still a little chance that maybe you meant what you said, and I’ll probably hit you, but then I’ll leave you alone. But if you don’t, you’d rather tell me now cause you won’t have another chance.


	17. Chapter 17

“Firstly, I want you to know I’ve never meant that. I said he asked me to save him, not that I wouldn’t have done it if he hadn’t! I know it was an awful thing to say, and I regret it bitterly, but I have never meant it. I was trying to be careful; I was only asking him how he felt… And he got on my nerve and I’ve been awful… I didn’t mean it, I promise you. You have to believe me.  
-I believe you.  
-That easily?” Harry asked, quite shocked. He had pictures multiple scenari as he walked to the Gate, but not that one.  
“I was there during the trials, Potter. I know what you did back then, I heard what you said. What I don’t understand is what brought you to this. In Sixth year you tried to kill him, and a year later you’re saving his life and pleading for him and his mother during the biggest trials of the century.   
-I didn’t try to kill him! It was an accident!  
-An accident? You sliced him open and it was an accident? How do you accidentally use that kind of Dark Magic Potter?  
-I didn’t know what that spell was for! I found it in a potion book. ‘For enemies’ it said.  
-So you tried it on a classmate.  
-You know how much we hated each other back then! Plus he was  
-He was?  
-He almost killed Katie Bell and Ron!” He shouted on the silence. Seating against a pillar, Zabini still didn’t show any sign of emotion and it was starting to get infuriating. “I had every right to hate him!  
-But a few weeks later, Dumbledore dies and the whole world know he is branded; and you suddenly stop hating him that much?  
-There’s a line between hating someone and wanting him dead, Zabini.  
-If you say so. But why testify for him, then? Why not letting the judges send him to Azkaban?  
-Azkaban? Do you really think I’d have wanted him in Azkaban? It’s almost worse than Death there! He- he never killed anyone, never really intended to neither! He acted out of fear; I knew Voldemort has threatened his family. I knew he was an arrogant guy, not a murderer.  
-So you just forgot everything he’s done as a Death Eater cause he didn’t have a choice?  
-He acted when it mattered the most.  
-Better late than never, then?  
-Aren’t you really that dense, are you? He could have given me to Voldemort. It would have made them royalty, made them win the war. But he didn’t. He chose me instead. And in the Room, he didn’t really try anything against me. He could have, but he didn’t. Then he stayed on our side when Voldemort called him, only leaving for his mother. And he sent me my wand. He changed the course of the war twice. He didn’t deserve to be send to Azkaban, he helped us win.” Harry concluded, breathless. In front of him, Zabini was still silent, and maybe, he was feeling something, too.

“Anyway, what I really don’t understand is why the Death Eater was worth saving and the school boy wasn’t.” He asked calmly, his every word sharped as razor blades. “Cause you plead in his favour during the trials. You plead for the Death Eater who almost killed Bell, Weasel and Dumbledore. You plead for the Death Eater who served the Dark Lord for two years cause he helped you when it ‘mattered the most’; but when he was a classmate crying you hexed him.”

That was it. That was what Zabini really wanted to talk about. His feign aloofness was gone, replaced by the hardness Harry had forecasted when he left the Great Hall. As he told him, he was there during the trials. He already knew why Harry testified. He had never planned on talking about it.   
“We… I took him off guard, vulnerable…” He started, carefully. Even if it happened more than a year ago, the memory was still vivid as he remembered that day. “I told him I knew what he did to Katie Bell, and he hexed me. I hexed him back and we fought. Until I used the Sectum Sempra…” He practically whispered. The thud Malfoy made when he fall on the soaked floor, the ferric smell filling the air, filling his nose, Peeve’s screams, Malfoy’s body almost lifeless on the ground, the moans, the blood, the blood. He didn’t have forgotten any of it. Couldn’t forget any of it. “It was an accident.  
-Those are facts Potter, not answers.” He barked, and from his blurred peripheral vision, Harry saw Ron taking out his wand.  
“It was an accident! If I had knew, I wouldn’t have cast that spell!”  
Harry didn’t see it coming, but felt the impact of the blow. Holding his hand, Zabini looked as shocked as he was.   
“You’re whining here that ‘it was an accident’, explaining me that you chose to save Malfoy from Azkaban cause he made the good choice ‘when it mattered the most’ but when your choice mattered the most, you decided he wasn’t worth it!” He spat angrily through greeted teeth. “You knew he’s been chosen by Voldemort, you knew Snape was in the middle of it, but you did nothing! And when he almost killed Katie Bell, you followed him to the bathroom. You could’ve helped him! It might not have changed the course of the war, but it would have changed his life! You’re here, proud of you and what you’ve done for him and his mother, but you’re the one who condemn him in the first place! When he needed help the most, you almost killed him!  
-I…  
-How can I let you anywhere near my loved ones, now?” He asked, his voice barely audible when he’s been yelling seconds before. “Theo wants you dead. And if Pansy hears about this morning, you’ll be dead. Consider you warned, Potter. If you ever lay a finger in my house, I’ll send you to your parents.  
-Zabini, wait!” Harry shouted. Even if he wanted to hex the leaving wizard with every spell he knew, there was someone else at stake. And he couldn’t risk losing him. When he spotted him running toward Zabini, Ron spelled the door close, giving his friend a few extra seconds. “I know I said it was an accident. I know I fucked up. But I talked to Malfoy’s trial because he deserved it!, not because I felt guilty. But I felt guilty and I still! I never thought he wasn’t worth saving. But I… I had to leave to find the Horcruxe, and he was still in the hospital wing. I thought that I could at least apologize when he’ll be filled out, but when I came back with Dumbledore, it was already too late. Within minutes Malfoy was here, pointing his wand toward him. I am sorry Zabini. I am really sorry.   
-You say sorry a lot, Potter. What happened this morning, do you know what it looked like to me? You felt sorry, or pity, toward him and his nightmares and get into your Saviour Complex mode. But he bite you, just like he did in that bathroom, and, like you did in the bathroom, you throw the nastiest thing you could think of. For enemies. But the fact is that Draco bites. A lot. And I don’t want to find him dead if you can’t take it. So I’m saying it a last time: don’t you find yourself anywhere near him.  
-But” Cut by Zabini sudden disappearance, Harry’s try out at explaining himself died in the early morning sunshine rays.


	18. Chapter 18

“Welc- Blaise? Is everything alright?” Draco asked, alarmed by the sight of the other Slytherin in the shop in the early morning.  
“Pansy’s fine, don’t worry.” He smiled as he saw Draco hurried toward him in his lame flowery apron. He was happy he chose to Apparate in an alley a walk away from the shop, happy that the fresh air had helped him calm down and come back from Hogwarts and everything it meant. He was happy he was able to face the white blond boy without his fury blurring his mind, happy to face the white blond boy and find him safe and sound. “But Theo told me…  
-I don’t want to talk about it.  
-Draco…  
-I’m working here, in case you forgot.  
-Then maybe you could make me a flower bouquet?  
-Blaise…  
-You have winter pansies, right?  
-Really?” He smiled, giving up his harsh tone. “You remembered?  
-Sometimes I listen when you talk.” He teased, pinching petals from a blue flower. “Could you make something pretty which wouldn’t cost me my wage?  
-Nothing pretty is ever cheap.  
-For me.  
-Not my shop, not my price, babe. Which colour?  
-Up to you. So,” he started again, following him around the shelves as he picked different kind of flower and plants until he finally settled behind the counter and start arranging them. “I talked to Potter.  
-You what?” Draco froze, putting his scissors down on the wood plank.  
“He didn’t mean any of it. He would have saved you from the fiendfyre anyway.  
-You didn’t have any right.” He coldly stated, looking down at the flowers between them.  
“Then what? I should have gone to bed and let you mope, believing that no one want you alive? Draco, please…” He softly requested, extending his hand to brush Draco’s with the tip of his fingers. “For once, let me help you.”  
As Draco removed his hand, Blaise felt his heart clenched. But Draco dried a tear before it fell on his cheek, and without a glance, he put his hand above Blaise’s, slightly gripping it. “Thank you.” He whispered. “But I need to get back to work.  
“When he saw you on top of that waste mountain, he never thought about anything else that coming back and get you away from the fire. He’d never have let you die. Never thought you’d deserve it.  
-Blaise…” He was finally looking up at him, his silver eyes glimmering. Of course he would be trying to keep everything inside. But those feelings, those memories, they couldn’t be locked up that long before gnawing him entirely, and Blaise wouldn’t let them.   
“I know, you’re working here. And I won’t bother you more. But I needed to be sure you heard it. I just- Just come here.” He invited, pulling on Draco’s hand before opening his arm for him to fold onto. “I know today’s not gonna be easy.” He whispered on his soft hair. “But you got me, and whatever ever happens, you’re never gonna be alone. So talk to me, talk to us. I know you feel like you can’t, but you can. Always.   
-I know.” He heard, muffled on his coat. “Thank you.” was repeated, and he finally felt Draco’s arm around his waist. “And thank you for talking to Potter. I could have done it but thank you.”  
Blaise laughed quietly at the blatant lie but didn’t say anything. Draco didn’t need to know what talking to Potter could look like. Instead, he tightened his hold, feeling him rest against him.   
“Are you gonna be okay, now?” he asked as the blonde’s face finally emerged. His eyes were dried but still puffy from the night, and between the dark circles under them and his bitten lips, it was hard for Blaise to envisage saying goodbye.  
“I will.” He smiled, trying to reassure him. “And are you?  
-Don’t worry. I’ll be able to survive if you finish that bouquet.” He joked, hoping to get the concern away from those silver’s eyes.  
“Then I’d better get back to work.” Draco stated. Leaving Blaise’s embrace, the pink blush on his cheeks was un-not-noticeable. Adjusting his apron to hide his face behind his locks, he got back behind the counter. “And don’t make a habit out of this.  
-Looking after you or hugging in public space?  
-Hugging.” He answered to the stem he was shortening. “Slytherins always look after one another.  
-Try to look at me first, then.” He defied. Draco raised his eyes slowly toward his, obviously taking up the challenge. Smirking, Blaise quickly leaned across the counter and stole him a kiss, earning a gasp and a shocked Blaise!.


	19. Chapter 19

“In the seven hells, where were you?” Theo inquired urgently as he heard the front door opened. “Should I be ready for an Auror burst in?  
-Potter’s alive, don’t worry. I only made a small jump at Hogwarts before heading to the flower shop.” Blaise answered nonchalantly, handing him the pansies bouquet. “I guess Narcissa’s already here.” He checked as he undressed. The probability that Theo was the one who put up a Welcome home Alyssa streamer was low, but as he was the one who came up with the Halloween decorations, it wasn’t zero.   
“Indeed; she’s unpacking upstairs. Neville’s grandma has left for the hospital half an hour ago.” Theo informed as he searched for a vase. “So that means it’s going to be the three of us for a couple of hours. And when I say ‘the three of us’ I mean the three of us. Don’t even think of leaving me alone with her.  
-Come on, I haven’t sleep yet.  
-Maybe, but she terrifies me. Plus I want to know how it went with Potter.  
-You guys are going to be the end of me.” He sighed, leaning on the doorframe. “Can we at least talk while I eat?  
-Don’t touch Potter’s pie. I’m keeping it for dessert.” He informed, crashing on their couch. As Blaise follow him, he raised an eyebrow. “Am I supposed to make you breakfast?  
-Oh that would be so nice of you! Thank you for offering.” He grinned, pushing his friend out of the sofa. “Two slice of toasted bread and a black coffee, please.  
-I hate you.” He smiled, hitting him with a cushion before getting to the kitchen. They knew each other for a couple of years and were living together for six months but he still wasn’t used to his every day cunning. “And don’t you dare fall asleep in the meantime!” He warned from the kitchen counter, covering the small noise of someone walking down the stairs.

“Blaise Zabini, I knew I had heard your voice.” Narcissa Malfoy smiled from the doorframe.  
“Oh, Madam Malfoy. Narcissa. Hi.” he blurted out, hastily straightening himself as he rose to his feet, making her laugh.   
“It’s always such a delight to see you.” She kept on smiling as her laugh slowly faded away. Walking toward her, he hoped his complexion would hide the blush he felt spreading on his face. Unfortunately, it wouldn’t help him hide his sudden jitteriness as she came closer and kiss his cheeks.   
“I’m glad you came.” He welcomed back, trying to get his steadiness back. He knew Narcissa Malfoy since he was a first year and he’s been raised to be the perfect Pureblood, he shouldn’t been nervous at all. He was clever, handsome and held his manners; everything in him should be pleasing her. Plus there was no way she knew about her son and him. “How was your journey?  
-I think I will never get used to muggle transportation. Yet I admit they are faster than thestrals carriages. How are you? Theodore told me you worked all night, you must be exhausted.  
-I wouldn’t say exhausted, but yes, I’m tired. Hopefully my roommate kindly offered to make me breakfast.” He added a little louder for his friend to hear, knowing it would make him wince.   
“Might I offer you some tea, Madam Malfoy?” Theo asked, from behind the vine. “Draco found the same jasmine tea you have at the Manor, but we also have green and black tea and maybe, yes, mint.  
-Green tea with mint, please darling. And for the last time, you can call me Narcissa.  
-I will, madam Malfoy.  
-He never will.” She whispered to Blaise as he led her toward the table.


End file.
